The holidays have passed, with all the joys and pressures…just to bring us to another holiday that brings stress and pressure (and maybe joy), Valentine’s Day. Now I know that as a grown woman who has been married a long time, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a big deal. But I have to admit, it still is.
Let’s face it, romance typically goes out the window when adult responsibilities, including (especially) children, come along. I mean, who has time to think flowers and hearts and smoochy sentiments when there are boogers on the wall?! Well, we all need to. Think of romance as a way to stop the mundane-ness of life, to say “I still choose you!” It’s important no matter what stage you’re in, in a relationship or in life.
What I have come to realize over the years is that showing romance on Valentine’s Day (or any day) doesn’t have to look like a greeting card or a scene in a Jane Austen story. Romance can appear in the everyday in a multitude of ways. For instance, Thomas might come up behind me while I’m typing and plant a little kiss on the back of my neck. Or he’ll bring me a cup of coffee in the morning. But the most romantic thing that happens between us is when, at the end of an otherwise yucky day of work, life, housework and parenthood, we get in bed and immediately turn towards each other. We hold hands for a few minutes and say “I love you” before turning away from each other to get into our favorite positions for falling asleep (the days of being able to fall asleep intertwined are long gone – comfort, please!) and it’s wonderful. I love him and he loves me and that’s how we end the day. That’s romance a-plenty for me, any day of the year.
I must admit, I’ve slipped a bit in the romance department over the years. OK, I’ve slipped a lot! When I was wooing Courtney, I was all about new ways to express my love for her, especially on Valentine’s Day. I was pretty darn creative if I do say so myself! I made cards, wrote poetry, planned unique dates, bought flowers… We were broke, so nothing expensive but they were special.
Over the years, as the burdens of work and demands of parenthood took hold, I just didn’t have the mental space to be so creative. Sure, we always have done something special on Valentine’s Day, but nothing so romantic and memorable as those early days. Courtney has always done little special things for the kids, like making heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast for them, and I try to mail out Valentines cards to Loveland for their wonderful special stamps. They’ve always gotten a kick out of those traditions, and of course we hope they embrace that spirit for the special people in their lives as they grow up.
I agree with Courtney that our daily rituals can be romantic on their own, but there is something nice about giving a little extra effort for that one day of the year. So maybe 2016 will be the year I dig deep and rediscover my inner Romeo and pull out all the stops!
It seems that making an extra effort should be worthwhile on this day since it celebrates something positive in this crazy world – LOVE. How cool is that???!!!
Or maybe I’ll just give her a kiss and roll over. Stay tuned…